Attack speed and starting out

[Lupo]

I tried turning down the attack speed, since I'm not exactly planning on loading myself up on coffee when playing for half an hour or so, but it doesn't seem to have any effect.  Everything still seems to go at max speed even after reloading the game.  Also post block it seems there's no recovery period for the attacker, when an attack is blocked, a follow up attack should always land unless blocked, they seem to be able to attack me before I can even finish my swing after blocking their attack.  I'm having a hard time enjoying this and relaxing.  I was aiming to play on normal speed with manual blocking and such but it doesn't seem to work well.

Also, starting out seems harder than it should be?  I started out twice once with a cleaver of some sort and then again with a hatchet.  Neither can block and the enemy's flurry and much better equipment gets me one shot with no reasonable contribution to this.  I'm not exactly into the farming craze, I'd like to enjoy a game I play from the get go, and this feels unplayable.  What options should I pick to get some decent stats and at least a stave, with the ability to swing it and hit something?  It's a pity I can't just pick what appeals to me the most story wise, since the repercussions on gameplay are quite steep.

Finally what's a better option of starting out?  I figured I'd spend time as a peasant under various lords retinues but none of them ever got into fights, even after an in-game month had passed.  Can't recruit from villages and the two followers I started out with were swiftly lost in the first battle I got in (everyone including me got one shot).

Putting asides the gameplay pains, the story and environment is quite genuinely inspiring.  I am very glad to see such work and dedication poured into it.  Hopefully I can resolve the gameplay speed issue, because if not I don't plan on giving myself anxiety when trying to relax    Thanks for any suggestions.